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No Choice

No Choice

We’ve been told, “you always have a choice”. I’d like to think I always have a choice. I even believe I make choices. Sitting with the thought that we don’t have “free will”.

Fatalists describe a predetermined reality already written by the hand of an entity greater than us. Reality has been decided for us and we’re all living out this tragic play. Our limited ability to make a choice at any moment is predicated on preconceived ideas, hormones, genetic imprints, blood sugar level, sleep, neurotransmitters, socio-economic-cultural factors… an unlimited and eternal list of influences.

Yoga and Choice

My practice of Vi-yoga, discernment of ideas, past actions, current views, and future goals for their validity and usefulness seems to expand the field of choice. The yoga practice of Sam-yoga, growing awareness of interrelatedness, allows me to connect the reality of my inability to choose at any moment the thoughts, words, and actions that may not be or have not been toward my highest goal or represent my highest self. This practice of yoga most importantly allows me and to forgive and have compassion for myself.

Gratitude

Gratitude

Suffering Buddha

Is he curled up in intense gratitude or profound suffering?

Think about it.

Those two countenances look the same.

 The modern, viral symbol of the practice of yoga is a person sitting crossed leg, serene with their hands in a mudra. We’ve been taught and hold the belief that if you’re not that picture – then you’re not yoga.  The calm picture is far away when we are suffering.  Insisting that calm or flexible is yoga creates separation.

Yoga is the connection that gives us the ability in those moments of suffering to recognize the similarity in those two countenances. Yoga connects that this cataclysmic event is changing our life.  ⁠Suffering a loss of a person, place, or thing gives us the opportunity to recognize that we truly loved what we’ve lost. I’ve known to suffer, curled up, screaming, tearing at my hair, hyperventilating, gagging on my own bile from my stomach clawing its way up into my throat with fear and anger. Finally, I grieved the loss. I understood my part in the events of my suffering, I recognized the innocence of myself and who and whatever was no longer here for me.  I grew compassion. All the things that are in our “possession right now”  – they are temporary and not ours.  Everything I love I’m going to lose and everyone I love is going to die and I’m going to die.  My prayer is: and then what? My answer is love.  I’ve nothing else. 

Yoga has given me the space for maturity. My practice allows me to love more deeply, surrendering to the depth of suffering a loss.  In my needs and desires, with the things I identify with I can cling and thirst with passion, practicing the yoga of loving them while they are coming to me, loving while I hold them,  and profoundly loving them when they slip away. Suffering engenders gratitude. The mercurial nature of reality reminds me that my greatest losses have brought me the sweetest gifts. 

Mind your own business

Yoga and specifically yoga therapy are tools for living here, together, today.

Yoga is not (only) stretching. Yoga can be defined as the practice to witness yourself as infinite and creative. How do you see yourself?  The self you see reflects your beliefs and habits. We think “that is just how I am” and our habits seem like “us”.

What if you’re so sick and tired of being sick and tired that you can’t even look? What if the bright spots are so bright that we can ignore the dark spots until the dark spots are black holes? Yoga doesn’t say you should be happy. Yoga says you are creative and the Self is infinite. The body dies. The universe infinitely shifts and changes. Yoga is making the choice to consciously consider who we are and how we experience each relationship, however temporary and mercurial it is.

We spend so much time taking care of other people, living our lives, working toward goals, and attempting to have meaningful relationships, we don’t know how, or we cannot find the time to have a relationship with ourselves.

What happens when life drastically changes? We gain or lose a loved one, a career, health… What we believe is “us” is suddenly unrecognizable. We suffer. What happens when life doesn’t change, we feel stuck? Yoga asks us to become witness to our beliefs and to discern which ideas are supporting us as infinite creative beings and which beliefs lead us to suffer.

Yoga models of reality suggest our beliefs come from and reflect our self-knowledge in expanding and contracting layers. We “know” ourselves and reality in relation to the whole universe, our planet, place in society, religion or spiritual practice, and our place amongst friends and family. We relate to ourselves as a body, a mind, some intellect, emotions and maybe even a spirit. How much time do we spend really contemplating who we are in these relationships?  How easily do we accept a default self that is built by responsibilities to and expectations of these layers?

The practice of yoga leads us to examine ourselves pervading through each layer and ask, “who do I believe I am I in this”?  Yoga recognizes the obstacles we face as humans that distract us from asking these questions, how convoluted the answers may be, and the difficulties in rearranging our beliefs and relationship to reality.

Yoga offers simple, practical strategies to accurately establish ourselves throughout these layers. When we experience instability or illness, yoga’s tradition of therapy directs human energy toward balance and manages mental and physical distractions with ancient tools of gentle exercise, breath awareness, meditation and if applicable, chanting and ritual.

Mind Your Own Business

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